Note: The language used in this article is guided by the UK National Autistic Society Guidelines. We acknowledge that individual preferences may differ.

Those of us on the autism spectrum have differences compared to non-autistic people in how we communicate with and interact with others, and how we go about our routines and interests. In a world that doesn’t always “get” autism, this may feel overwhelming or cause challenges in our day-to-day lives.[i] It can feel isolating and lead to negative feelings, such as anxiety and sadness.

Being autistic can be a unique and positive experience, especially when you can fully understand and embrace what this means for you and have the right support. Understanding common autistic characteristics can help you know yourself and your needs much better.

Now, let’s demystify autism: what it is, what are common autistic traits, and how you can know if you are on the autism spectrum?

Understanding Autism

Clinically speaking, autism is defined in The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition (DSM-5) as autism spectrum disorder (ASD). “Asperger’s syndrome” was previously a diagnosis given to some autistic people but is no longer used.

Autism is classified as a neurodevelopmental condition, which means it is a lifelong neurological difference that a person is born with. It is understood as primarily affecting how a person communicates and interacts with others, combined with a pattern of restricted or repetitive behaviours, interests, or activities.

The neurodiversity perspective highlights autism as a type of neurodivergence, where a person thinks, learns, solves problems, and interacts with others in a way that is different from non-autistic people, rather than a “disorder” or “condition”. This perspective captures more fully the range of experiences reported by autistic people, including common strengths.

What Autism is NOT

Autism is not an “illness” to be cured or made to go away.

Autism is also not something that only occurs in childhood.

Although many do, not every autistic person has other aspects of neurodivergence, such as a learning disability, language difficulty, or ADHD.

Similarly, any cognitive, social, or emotional support needs will vary significantly across autistic individuals.

In Aotearoa New Zealand, Autism is recognised as a disability, and individuals may be eligible for social support services.[ii] However, not every autistic person considers themself to be disabled.

Common Characteristics of Autism

Autistic children more commonly show developmental challenges and repetitive behaviours, while in adulthood social interaction and communication tend to be the most noticeable signs. This is partly because social expectations and “rules” become clearer in adulthood, making differences more noticeable and sometimes leading to misunderstanding or rejection by others.

If you are a person on the autism spectrum, you may:

• Feel uncomfortable making eye contact.
• Have difficulty understanding nuances in conversation, like picking up when someone is making a joke or being sarcastic.
• Find small talk challenging or even painful.
• Have a hard time forming and maintaining romantic relationships or friendships.
• Express yourself with gestures, facial expressions, or body language in ways others don’t seem to understand.
• Follow highly structured routines.
• Show intense interest in specific activities, hobbies, or topics.
• Be hypersensitive, or the opposite be insensitive, to sensory stimulation such as light, noise, or touch.
• Find certain environments overwhelming due to sensory factors; for example, sensitivity to the texture of fabrics or the consistency of foods.
• Handle problems and tasks in unique ways.

Common Strengths among Autistic People

No individual is the same. But just like common differences, there are common strengths seen among autistic people.[iii] You may:

• Be able to focus intensely and pay extraordinary attention to detail, making you highly effective in tasks requiring precision and concentration.
• Have a deep passion for specific subjects or activities. This may help you pursue your interests keenly and with dedication, leading to extensive knowledge and success in specialist areas.
• Have a unique way of looking at the world, which can lead to innovation and original ideas.

The Impact of Autism on Daily Life

If you or a loved one are part of the autistic community, you’ll know living in a world that doesn’t accommodate well for neurodivergence often leads to significant challenges. From sensory differences to being misunderstood in social interactions, life in a non-autism-friendly environment can cause feelings of frustration, anxiety, and isolation.[iv]

For example, your higher sensitivity to sounds or textures could make everyday situations such as having meals or sitting in a noisy office overwhelming. This is known as ‘sensory overload,’ a common experience for neurodivergent individuals where the brain receives more sensory information than it can process, leading to feelings of discomfort or anxiety.

You could also experience everyday social interactions as complex or exhausting. You may also find it difficult to set boundaries or voice your needs, feelings, and expectations in a way others understand. This can create frustration or difficulties in your relationships. It can also cause misunderstandings with loved ones and others around you, leading to conflict, resentment, or feelings of failure.

These challenges in everyday situations may exceed your ability to cope, leaving you frustrated, exhausted, ashamed, and stressed out. You may experience mental health challenges, such as social anxiety or depression, or resort to unhelpful coping behaviours such as the use of alcohol, drugs, food, or aggressive outbursts. Studies show, for instance, that there is an increased possibility of addiction among autistic people.[v] [vi]

Autism and Executive Functioning

Autism is commonly associated with differences in executive functioning. Executive skills involve how we pay attention, remember things, think and solve problems, control our emotional reactions, plan, and organize.[vii]

If you have an autism diagnosis, you may find it challenging to manage tasks, adapt to new situations, or shift focus between tasks, conversations, and activities in the same way as neurotypical people. These differences may cause you to feel worried, upset, and self-critical because you compare yourself to non-autistic people.

How Common is Autism?

The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that about 1 in 100 children in the world are diagnosed at autism​.[viii] In New Zealand, this prevalence is similar to global rates. The Ministry of Health reports that around 1 in 100 New Zealand children are on the autism spectrum. According to Autism New Zealand, approximately 93,000 Kiwis are autistic.[ix]

How Do I Get a Diagnosis as an Adult?

Autism is usually diagnosed during childhood and is a life-long diagnosis.

However, as an adult, you can be diagnosed when you have longstanding differences that were overlooked or undetected in childhood.

Autism has been poorly understood historically so there are likely many autistic adults that were not diagnosed in childhood. Here are the steps to getting a diagnosis:

1. Start by recognising common autistic traits, like those described above.
2. Take a self-screening test, such as those on the Embrace Autism website to check if your scores falls within the ranges autistic people tend to score.
3. Discuss the results of your self-screening test with your GP, who can offer an initial assessment and refer you to a specialist for a formal diagnosis.[x]

In Aotearoa, a qualified clinician, typically a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist, provides an assessment for autism in adulthood. Often this assessment must be paid for privately, although it’s worth checking with your GP if you could be eligible for a referral through the public health system.

MindMatters Clinic offers diagnostic assessments. Other clinicians providing private assessments can be located on the Autism New Zealand directory.

For more information about getting an autism diagnosis, see Autism New Zealand’s diagnosis guide.

Self-Help Strategies and External Support

Overcoming the challenges you experience is often about understanding your unique strengths and differences while finding the best strategies for you. There can also be big steps to overcome internalised shame and the emotional impact of living in a world designed for non-autistic people. You can get to a point of celebrating who you are, but this can take time.

• Build up a strong network of family and friends who are supportive and understanding. This is key to reducing feelings of isolation and acceptance.
• Consider joining associated autism advocacy groups, like Autism New Zealand, who provide invaluable resources and the comfort of a community around you.
• Follow inspirational people online who celebrate their identity as an autistic person, such as award-winning NZ comedian Abby Howells.
• Stick to a daily routine that includes physical activity and time for relaxation and fun. This can provide stability and reduce feelings of anxiety.
• Learn what sensory aides feel good for you to support sensory sensitivities and your routine, such as visual schedules, noise-cancelling headphones, comfortable clothing, and quiet break-out rooms if you work in an open-plan office.
• Explore neuroaffirming therapies that may assist you to understand and embrace your differences. This could include speech, language, occupational, or cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT).

Once you receive a diagnosis, external support is available. Given each person is unique, this is often about taking an individualised approach. Organisations like Autism New Zealand provide resources, advocacy, and support networks to assist autistic individuals and their whānau (families). It is also a good idea to seek professional support when needed, such as:

• Your GP to discuss your physical or mental health needs.
• Social services like WINZ or Citizens Advice Bureau.
• If you think you might benefit from reasonable accommodations to assist you to study or work at your best, consider speaking to student accessibility services, your line manager or HR.

Access to these services can make a significant difference to your day-to-day life and wellbeing.

Finally, changes are needed in our society to ensure our homes, communities and workplaces are more inclusive and autism-friendly. This is everyone’s responsibility. Many of the challenges autistic individuals report are caused by a lack of awareness and environments not being well set up for autistic people. MindMatters Clinic can assist organisations such as tertiary education providers and workplaces to create more autism-friendly environments that support people to be their best.

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To learn more, check out our neurodiversity article.

Curious about ADHD? check out our article What is ADHD and how do I know if I’m ADHD?

References

[i] https://autismnz.org.nz/understanding-autism/

[ii] https://www.whaikaha.govt.nz/support-and-services/specific-disability-services/autism-support-services

[iii] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7732033/

[iv] https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/national/512278/we-re-often-presumed-to-be-incompetent-only-1-in-5-autistic-nzers-feel-accepted

[v] https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-33969-1_10

[vi] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5222913/

[vii] https://www.leicspart.nhs.uk/autism-space/health-and-lifestyle/autism-and-executive-functioning-skills/

[viii] https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/autism-spectrum-disorders

[ix] https://autismnz.org.nz/

[x] https://autismnz.org.nz/diagnosis-guide/