As we are slowing emerging out of our cocoons of the last few years, living through crisis after crisis globally – not to mention in our own lives – it is very normal to be experiencing feeling a lack of purpose, power, or motivation in your life. Being held captive by events beyond our control meant that an adjustment to a new way of living was required and the lasting effects of this are greater than what we may realise until years to come.
The ever-evolving global landscape that we are a part of means that it’s harder to be unaffected or impacted by the wider goings on of the world. You may have experienced any or all of the following in recent times: frustration, sadness, loneliness, lack of connection, loss of relationships, felt a lack of purpose or meaning in your life, and been constantly questioning why certain things are happening.
The wider world we are living in is rapidly changing, and it’s hard to keep up! It’s helpful to know when and where to surrender, where to adapt and where to focus your energy and intention to create the change you want to see in your life.
The key to bringing a sense of empowerment and feeling in control back to your life is to narrow down your focus to what you can change. That is, your inner world and your immediate community. These are places where you can exercise control, free will and intention, rather than feeling powerless about things which are largely out of your control.
As Viktor Frankl, well known philosopher and Holocaust survivor said: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
If you have been struggling to feel like you are back in the driver’s seat of your life, I would consider taking a deeper look at what it is in particular that is holding you back and then update and rework the core beliefs that underlie this so you can start to live the life you dream of, and know that this is possible for you!
Here are 3 tips to assist you in moving into a different gear, a gear of self-empowerment and purpose.
1. Understand that no one is coming to save you.
It is up to you to create the life that you are craving for. Your happiness depends on YOU. Relying on others or things outside of yourself to provide you with a sense of fulfilment is a dangerous game. It is often short lived, which can leave you in a place of even more despair. The trajectory of your life is dependent on the little and big choices that you make every day.
2. Cleanse away that which makes you feel unworthy.
Start small. It might be changing a daily habit that doesn’t bring you joy, such as waking up and immediately reaching for your phone to get the dopamine hit from notifications, or seeing what other people are up to. Instead set a morning ritual for yourself that begins the moment you wake up that tells your body and mind that you are in control and in charge. This could be doing a 10 minute meditation, or getting up and stretching your body for 5 minutes. It could be spending 2 minutes writing out what you are grateful for. Once you start to make small changes, you are more likely to have confidence to tackle the bigger changes, such as reassessing relationships, jobs, or living circumstances that do not empower you to show up as the best version of yourself.
3. Show your commitment to yourself.
This could look like finding a professional such as a life coach or therapist who can help you drill down specifically into what it is that you are lacking, and what it is that you are wanting, and then creating steps off the back of what you discover.
Book the coach, the PT, the dance class, the trip, the cooking workshop, the pottery series, or the retreat that is calling your name. Imagine what it will feel like to have done this for yourself. Consider what the cost will be to you if don’t. Are you willing to live with the cost?
Bree Nicholls is the founder of The Being Way, a unique coaching method that combines Coaching, Therapy, and Mindfulness. She works 1:1 with clients, and runs a Coaching Training course, teaching the Being Way method. Her next 10-week Life Coach Training Course runs across Oct-Dec, 2022.